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Molly
May 27, 2011 6:22:58 GMT -8
Post by molly98 on May 27, 2011 6:22:58 GMT -8
Dear Life:
Am I ever going to be the woman I once was? Will I ever regain my composure and confidence. Is everything just a phase? I should be happy to start over in a new place. Why aren't I? Is it because my other half is just a few days away? I just feel so empty inside. Is my past just a faded memory? Is that life just a part of me that I imagined? I just don't know.
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Molly
May 28, 2011 22:48:39 GMT -8
Post by molly98 on May 28, 2011 22:48:39 GMT -8
Before I write more I just want to apologize if I seem if I am complaining or repeating myself. I have been dealing with so much crap recently that sadly I have some trust issues. I feel like people I have trusted in the past have turned their back on me because of some recent decisions I have made. I never really know who knows who and what can come back and bite me in the ass.
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Nico
Three Digits!
burger emergency
Posts: 143
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Molly
May 29, 2011 17:10:20 GMT -8
Post by Nico on May 29, 2011 17:10:20 GMT -8
You don't have to apologize here about complaining or complaining repeatedly. I'm fairly certain that's the whole point of the place when kmcm set it up. Bitch, moan, repeat. Until you feel better.
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Molly
Jun 16, 2011 13:36:00 GMT -8
Post by kmcm on Jun 16, 2011 13:36:00 GMT -8
That is EXACTLY why i set this up. Bitch Moan Repeat. We'll give you support, suggestions, advice, but all in all it's bitch moan repeat.
Don't forget the stupid fucking bullshits that are pissing you off beyond belief. Swearing is HIGHLY encouraged, especially since it's a helluva release, and i KNOW you can't say the words around your son. Last thing we need is for him to start with the "swear, laugh, repeat" game.
I'll only bite you in the ass if you ask me to, really nicely.
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Molly
Jul 7, 2011 20:17:38 GMT -8
Post by molly98 on Jul 7, 2011 20:17:38 GMT -8
So alone. Each day I go through the same routine. Wake up to the loud sound of Mamama. I groggily get out of bed and head out the door. I try to put a smile on my face as I open the door to the next room. There smiling up at me is my little boy. He was so glad that I finally woke up to get him out of his crib. I check his diaper to see if it needs a change. We soon head into the living room where the faithful playpen is filled with his toys. Normally he will sit there and play with the blanket or whatever might have cought his eye. I decide weather to wrap myself in a blanket or head to the kitchen to make his morning sippy cup of joy. I decide with the latter. I make my way into the kitchen and open the closet with the formula. Soon auto drive kicks in. 3-5 scoops of formula, add water, than give it a good few shakes. I bring him his drink and he is a happy camper. It buys me a few minutes to rest my eyes. I soon turn on the netflix and find a kids show that we can watch. By then he pulls himself up and gives me that look of "Mommy will you hold me". I mean what can I say and I get up and walk to the playpen and pick him up and we return to the chair and relax and watch the show. We sometimes fall asleep just the two of us in my rocking chair. So that is how my day starts and pretty much goes on. Add a little dishes, feedings, changing of diapers, and who knows perhaps some laundry. Yeah that's my routine.
I want to say that I have no time to notice how lonely it gets. Sure I would love to just talk to someone or have a friend over. So far all the people I know work until the afternoon... or better yet the weekends. I get so damn lonely. Doing the same old thing. I want to cry. Why oh why is it that way. Being a SAHM can suck big time. I wouldn't trade it because I have been a hard worker all my life... you know the person who works so hard while everyone else is slouching away?? Yeah that was me the Cinderella. I keep thinking one day things will change. Someday things will just fit together. I am pretty patient. Than again I can be too patient. I just want a friend. Someone I can hang out with and just be me. I envy the girls who have their girlfriends who go out to the mall and do girly things. I haven't done that in more than 5 years... and doing it without feeling guilty. So that's my thing for today. One word: Lonely.
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