Post by Fay on Nov 16, 2010 21:33:41 GMT -8
This is so hard for me. I keep coming here to post and get so upset and angry, that I have been avoiding the board.
Lets see, when I was 16 I was in a car accident that resulted in knee pain. I had surgery to remove some loose cartilage, and all seemed well. It bothered me now and then, but nothing too bad. I started having pain all over, but I was always told it was because I was still growing or something along that line.
A few years later I was walking at work and heard a loud "POP" Then the pain started to get bad. Then worse, then I finally saw a surgeon and needed a patella realignment. When he got in they realized I was walking on a mostly dislocated knee cap for 5 months. Once I woke up I was in agony. He wanted to send me home but the nurses had me admitted for pain control. He would come in and yell about how none of his other patients needed to stay in the hospital and such. But he never did answer me when I asked if they had previous trauma to the knee as I did.
I've been in severe pain ever since. The surgery seemed to make the fibromyalgia worse in every way. I was told there is nothing they can do for my knee, because I am too young for a knee replacement. So I began pain management. They put me on Kadian and I finally was getting some relief, when I got laid off and could not afford $460 a month for meds.
I was without anything almost two years when I broke down and went to see the pain doctor again, regardless of my insurance. I still can't get the old med, but I am now on the Fentanyl patch. It's helping somewhat, but at my last appointment, my doctor said he wouldn't up the dosage any more. When I asked why he said that he felt I didn't have a condition to warrant a higher dosage, and he wouldn't fill any short-term medication because he's concerned I may become addicted.
So now, my doctor is psychic and can tell me how much pain I'm in! I see him again on the 20th of Dec. I plan on letting him know that I NEVER took more short acting medication the prescribed. When I started seeing him I needed it around the clock and I followed directions. Now I could use it 3 or 4 times a week, but I just get to lay in bed with tears rolling down my face because I'm in pain and there is nothing I can do. I know a higher dose on the Fentanyl would get me to a livable state, but I really think he's just going to leave me at a brick wall.
So here I am. Just kind of stuck. If he won't help me I'll find someone who will. But it's so hard, and I hurt so much all the time. If it wasn't for a few people, I'd be gone by now. That's how much it hurts. Sorry for the rambling. This is just s hard for me.
Lets see, when I was 16 I was in a car accident that resulted in knee pain. I had surgery to remove some loose cartilage, and all seemed well. It bothered me now and then, but nothing too bad. I started having pain all over, but I was always told it was because I was still growing or something along that line.
A few years later I was walking at work and heard a loud "POP" Then the pain started to get bad. Then worse, then I finally saw a surgeon and needed a patella realignment. When he got in they realized I was walking on a mostly dislocated knee cap for 5 months. Once I woke up I was in agony. He wanted to send me home but the nurses had me admitted for pain control. He would come in and yell about how none of his other patients needed to stay in the hospital and such. But he never did answer me when I asked if they had previous trauma to the knee as I did.
I've been in severe pain ever since. The surgery seemed to make the fibromyalgia worse in every way. I was told there is nothing they can do for my knee, because I am too young for a knee replacement. So I began pain management. They put me on Kadian and I finally was getting some relief, when I got laid off and could not afford $460 a month for meds.
I was without anything almost two years when I broke down and went to see the pain doctor again, regardless of my insurance. I still can't get the old med, but I am now on the Fentanyl patch. It's helping somewhat, but at my last appointment, my doctor said he wouldn't up the dosage any more. When I asked why he said that he felt I didn't have a condition to warrant a higher dosage, and he wouldn't fill any short-term medication because he's concerned I may become addicted.
So now, my doctor is psychic and can tell me how much pain I'm in! I see him again on the 20th of Dec. I plan on letting him know that I NEVER took more short acting medication the prescribed. When I started seeing him I needed it around the clock and I followed directions. Now I could use it 3 or 4 times a week, but I just get to lay in bed with tears rolling down my face because I'm in pain and there is nothing I can do. I know a higher dose on the Fentanyl would get me to a livable state, but I really think he's just going to leave me at a brick wall.
So here I am. Just kind of stuck. If he won't help me I'll find someone who will. But it's so hard, and I hurt so much all the time. If it wasn't for a few people, I'd be gone by now. That's how much it hurts. Sorry for the rambling. This is just s hard for me.