Post by succubusdream on Dec 1, 2010 0:18:24 GMT -8
So the day before my birthday i was txting my mother. This is how it went.
Her: Are you working?
Me: I was
Her: I was that way and wanted to say 'hi'.
Me: Ah, well I am working tomorrow too
Her:Oh. Are you comming over tomorrow?
Me: I don't think I will have time between eork, dinner and the facial thing in the morning. If I didn't have work, I would, but they sprang the hours on me today. Sunday I will.
Me: Or today, but I won't be able to stay for too long because I had 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night.
Me: Would you like me to come over today?
Her:You choose what is important to you, not me.
Me: It is a yes or no answer. And quit the 'tude. Your getting worse then I was with the 'I don't care' additude. Be positive.
Her: I do care and if you need to ask such questions then you are getting stupider as you are discovering who you are. Sorry that all I want you to think and wishing you cared.
Me: Sorry I asked.
Her: You should have known the answer. Your birthday is tomorrow. You said you'll come over since you didn't on Thanksgiving. Now you tell me that it is not happening? You want me to be happy about you ditching us?
Me:Work is a priority for me. Sorry for taking responsibility like an adult. I don't want to be around someone texts/talks on the phone to me in a negative manner, then is nice when I am around. Family doesn't do that. It would be nice to have pleasent talks/texts and responces to simple questions. Plus, all my friends are coming over for a surprise birthday party which I am not supposed to know about. Thus me trying to spend Sunday there. But if it is going to be a sour enviorment, I prefer not to go. Read my e-mail. ( This was my blargh letter I posted in the welcome section)
Her: I read your e-mail. What I see in it is probably different then what you think. Not just the words. I am learning more and more that what you call family is not us.
Her: I was trained well, but you encouraged me that I shouldn't tolerate being hurt. Now I am doing that with you and I'm fucked. The negative enviorment: you creat between.
Her: Working is responsible, of course you should go. Hurting me with your actions, words, choices. I guess it shouldn't matter and I shouldn't say anything about that.
Her: us with your choices. (she left something out) Maybe you don't want me in your life, but I want you in mine. I'll try to be better, to be superficial and nice, so you won't X me out of your life. Unfortunately I'll be fucked going that route to. Catch 22.
Me:I'm sorry. Sorry for trying to show you my outlook on the past. Sorry that I am not the daughter you want me to be. Sorry that all I do is make you hurt. Sorry that I make you feel trained and remind you of what happened. I can't changed what has been done. Perhaps it is best that I stay out of your guys's life since I create the negativity. Sincerely - Susie.
Her:Please don't take yourself away from me anymore than you already did. That will kill me. Please. please don't do that. Transition is hard and I am hurting from it.
Her: I asked you for your help already, please help me. I can't loose you. It will kill me.
From her phone: Its chris.. Happy fucking birthday. I thought family first not work friends and other things. GET THE FUCK OVER THE PAST
I need your opinions on this. I typed this out word for word. I think I should stop all contact with her for several months. Any of you have other options I can persue or have some insight that I could have missed?
Her: Are you working?
Me: I was
Her: I was that way and wanted to say 'hi'.
Me: Ah, well I am working tomorrow too
Her:Oh. Are you comming over tomorrow?
Me: I don't think I will have time between eork, dinner and the facial thing in the morning. If I didn't have work, I would, but they sprang the hours on me today. Sunday I will.
Me: Or today, but I won't be able to stay for too long because I had 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night.
Me: Would you like me to come over today?
Her:You choose what is important to you, not me.
Me: It is a yes or no answer. And quit the 'tude. Your getting worse then I was with the 'I don't care' additude. Be positive.
Her: I do care and if you need to ask such questions then you are getting stupider as you are discovering who you are. Sorry that all I want you to think and wishing you cared.
Me: Sorry I asked.
Her: You should have known the answer. Your birthday is tomorrow. You said you'll come over since you didn't on Thanksgiving. Now you tell me that it is not happening? You want me to be happy about you ditching us?
Me:Work is a priority for me. Sorry for taking responsibility like an adult. I don't want to be around someone texts/talks on the phone to me in a negative manner, then is nice when I am around. Family doesn't do that. It would be nice to have pleasent talks/texts and responces to simple questions. Plus, all my friends are coming over for a surprise birthday party which I am not supposed to know about. Thus me trying to spend Sunday there. But if it is going to be a sour enviorment, I prefer not to go. Read my e-mail. ( This was my blargh letter I posted in the welcome section)
Her: I read your e-mail. What I see in it is probably different then what you think. Not just the words. I am learning more and more that what you call family is not us.
Her: I was trained well, but you encouraged me that I shouldn't tolerate being hurt. Now I am doing that with you and I'm fucked. The negative enviorment: you creat between.
Her: Working is responsible, of course you should go. Hurting me with your actions, words, choices. I guess it shouldn't matter and I shouldn't say anything about that.
Her: us with your choices. (she left something out) Maybe you don't want me in your life, but I want you in mine. I'll try to be better, to be superficial and nice, so you won't X me out of your life. Unfortunately I'll be fucked going that route to. Catch 22.
Me:I'm sorry. Sorry for trying to show you my outlook on the past. Sorry that I am not the daughter you want me to be. Sorry that all I do is make you hurt. Sorry that I make you feel trained and remind you of what happened. I can't changed what has been done. Perhaps it is best that I stay out of your guys's life since I create the negativity. Sincerely - Susie.
Her:Please don't take yourself away from me anymore than you already did. That will kill me. Please. please don't do that. Transition is hard and I am hurting from it.
Her: I asked you for your help already, please help me. I can't loose you. It will kill me.
From her phone: Its chris.. Happy fucking birthday. I thought family first not work friends and other things. GET THE FUCK OVER THE PAST
I need your opinions on this. I typed this out word for word. I think I should stop all contact with her for several months. Any of you have other options I can persue or have some insight that I could have missed?