Nico
Three Digits!
burger emergency
Posts: 143
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Post by Nico on Dec 23, 2010 23:29:26 GMT -8
That's a particularly fucked up thing for your mother to say to you. She's also quite misguided if she thinks that you're the one responsible for her misery. I'm pretty sure she does an efficient job of making herself miserable even without your help.
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Bunny
Figuring us out
I'm just a little black rain cloud hovering over the honey tree....
Posts: 45
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Post by Bunny on Dec 24, 2010 8:09:45 GMT -8
It was all because I said on my facebook account for people to take their Christmas elsewhere. I really don't like Christmas anymore. It's changed. The feelings for it have changed. People are missing.... it's just not right.
Friends were chiming in with their comments on why the season sucks more than ever. One even said this holiday causes the most suicides. I commented that I'm probably one of those reasons.
Well, good old mom pops on and reads me the riot act, tells me what a liar I am to these people, how good I've always had it, and how stupid I am. Then proceeds to tell me to kill myself.
Blew me away.
She them storms out the the computer room where she is, screaming at me, telling me that I am an ungrateful bitch, and I need to leave because my face sickens her. To go live with my trash friends from the bar, and see if they will put up with my skank ass. Or Better yet, just do us all a favor and kill myself.
I just sat there in disbelief. I'm looking everywhere on my facebook page for an inkling of some insult I may have thrown towards my family. Nothing.
She hates me. Just plain hates me.
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Nico
Three Digits!
burger emergency
Posts: 143
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Post by Nico on Dec 24, 2010 11:40:06 GMT -8
I think it's possible your mom takes things personally when they're not meant for her. There's definitely a lot going on there that's not obvious and right out on the surface for you to read. Sure, she's screaming at you and you're the one taking the heat - but logically there is no way you're the one responsible for all of her anger.
Something someone told me, when I was going through almost the same fucking situation (jesus christ!) that you're going through, is that everyone has a role within their family. If the family is dysfunctional, there's usually an omega wolf in the pack - the one that every other wolf in the pack uses to release their aggression.
You don't sound like the kind of person who stomps around the house being a shit head and yelling at other people. It's like the saying about the sucker at the poker table - if you can't tell who the omega is, it's probably you.
It sucks ass to be in that role, but it's not something that's really your fault. It probably won't change until you move out. It didn't really change for me until I moved out and had kids. I had a shitty relationship with my mother, and while she never told me that I should go kill myself, I doubted we'd ever get along - but we do now. Far better than I ever thought we would.
So, she doesn't hate you. You're just the only one safe enough for her to be a raging nuclear bitch to. You have to start viewing your mother as someone who is not well, because she obviously is not. You can't talk to someone who is mentally unstable and expect sane responses from them. You keep thinking, "she just hates me, I don't know what I did." You didn't do anything. Your mom is kind of crazy, that's all.
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Bunny
Figuring us out
I'm just a little black rain cloud hovering over the honey tree....
Posts: 45
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Post by Bunny on Jan 20, 2011 22:43:39 GMT -8
lol =) The whole family is kind of crazy....
I so want to move out. Get divorced. Be free...
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Nico
Three Digits!
burger emergency
Posts: 143
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Post by Nico on Jan 21, 2011 14:24:41 GMT -8
Maybe you could start mindfucking them back. Start doing and saying things you'd never do. Wear a glove on your head and pretend it makes perfect sense. Wear two belts and if they question you, say, "it's in remembrance of ... fruit." Begin addressing everyone as "Sir" or "Madam". Laugh at inappropriate times.
Basically - if you can't beat 'em - join 'em.
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